shit ass.

i'm gonna fail my chem test..

i just pray that i won't get a freaking single digit or an F. pray i'll get an AO!

it sux when u put in effort to study and you screw it up at the most important time..

whatever it is, i'm really disappointed in myself.

why am i always failing chem! i never passed my chem before.. what is wrong with me..

im sucha freak..

I NEED A BREAK!

all these tests shit is getting me down.. i have no will to study at all.. somebody please drag me off to the cliffs and push me down can?

its all not a good sign.. when i'm stressed, i eat.. when i eat, i gain weight.. when i gain weight, i get depressed and eat more.. so i still gain weight! bleh..

well, there's still suki sushi to look forward on wednesday when i have no CCA! cheerios! i can't wait to touch those salmon sashimi of mine.. and my scallops! woohoo!

hmmm.. food seem to take my mind off those irritating polyamides for a moment.. lets pray my reactions don't get mixed up on tuesday or else i'll be on my way to see dr rahman and a big fat F on my paper..

and i haven't even studied those basicity and acidity and stuff! wth..

jc life makes me a boring person.. i haven't stepped into town for 2-3weeks? i have no life..

i have to go on a retail therapy.. i'm saving money, serious..

i wanna date my boyfriend! its been so long since we went on a date for the whole day?

i want to catch that film by lee ang.. but its r21.. i still hv a long way to go.. i'm still so far from that magical 18!

read this newspaper article on a man, some guy holding a high position i guess, about his family.. he said that he and his wife were their first and they've been together ever since 17 or something.. they've been through the "tough" period of NS and they're like so happily married with children.. i wonder whether that would be a possibility for me.. i mean, couples see NS as a hurdle in relationships.. either u have what it takes to cross that hurdle or u remain stuck there and never be able to cross it.. i wanna cross that hurdle.. because there are some things in life which require no second experience. i know what i want and i hope he feels the same way too.. maybe 17 going on 18 is an age where you don't really know what you want.. but i don't want it to end.. i can't see any reason for us to end anyway.. its actually a great feeling to be in love and to be loved. i feel that this relationship has made me grow and made me more matured in my thinking.. perhaps there are times when i wanna act like a child but i've learnt the very thing that keeps every kind of relationship going.. that is to 'give and take'. and because of the quarrels we had, i realised that without u in my life, my life is simply just an empty space with no colour.. and through these quarrels i've learnt to treasure u even more, and to know that people around me care for me and i can count on them=) people like jas, vera, kerwin, stef, sing, liyi and many others!

i feel blessed with you by my side.. even if the skies were to fall on me, i know i am safe. because you're the only one who can bring a smile to my face, a REAL smile, by just a simple gesture.. love you..

went mugging with vera at this super windy place! i mean SUPER windy! my hair was blown in all sorts of direction and tying it up couldn't solve the problem cos my hair is finely layered and there are strands of stray hair.. bah.. nevertheless, i felt more at 'peace' at vera's place cos it was rather quiet and easier to study i guess.. BUT, its too comfortable that i almost fell asleep.. bleh.. vera too.. i guess thats why we HAVE to head out to study to prevent the bed from calling us.. haha.. i'm so seriously in deep shit cos i have no idea what i was reading this morning about carboxylic acids and nitrogen compounds.. great huh? expect another F? i hope not.. gonna mug till late today.. and the whole of tomorrow is also for mugging! i can't go out.. don't ask me out either, or else i'll be filled with guilt man.. no matter what, at least a D for chem! haha.. aim high!

same hairstyles!

ain't my house NEAT?

studying with vera at her room!

gosh this isn't nice.. -.- i'm good at acting cute huh?

SHOCKED???

im like super narcissist.. yup thats me.. i noe i'm like super ugly but i still take pictures of myself.. lame right? but i just love myself! we all should! spoken like a bitch..

i just told vera bout the detractor(s) in jas's blog.. her reaction is so violent! i read her tags already.. she's so intent on breaking that guy/girl's ego man! i applaud her, i salute her.. we're so willing to stand up against this kind of people not because we are politically correct nor we wanna make these people have a taste of their own medicine.. its because we're all like soul sisters, jie meis! we can't take it lying down that our closest friend is being defamed in this manner.. apparently whoever who is tagging her tagboard must be somebody who doesn't have the guts to stand up for his own opinions and defame people in real life and thus resort to lousy methods of making one's ego big.. whatever it is, we'll definitely crush it! even though jas's not gonna blog anymore, the tagboard is still alive.. unless jas wanna remove it.. don't tell me you are gonna remove it k jas? we'll fight back! anyway its kinda fun to see what their reaction is.. shitty asses who don't have a life..

help me find back those smiles? will you?

i miss alot of things..

i miss the only one person who can make me cry and smile because he is him
i miss my darling peeps who make me laugh till i have stomach cramps
i miss the only food i can go head over heels for; sashimi
i miss shopping like a crazy girl, going woo.woah.wow over stuff i like
i miss the beach lined with pure white sand, complete with that clear blue sea and the sun that shines so strongly
i miss the days when i can sleep in LATE and no one bothers to wake me up
i miss those times when i was still a kid, doing whatever i like and be fed all the time
i miss having no homework to do, no lectures to attend, no teachers to face, and no school to go.

in short, i miss all things that has nothing to do with school.. and thats the very thing that is robbing me of the things i miss..

some silly person went to write some ugly comments on jas's blog.. its really damn childish to do that sort of stuff.. you're seriously dumb.. like anyone's life has anything to do with you.. detractors are always there, criticising others, thinking that they are always perfect. no one is, no one.. seriously, i won't give a damn about such people unless they defame my friends and people i love..

i'm so gonna go for retail therapy for all the stress i've been having.. im so tired everyday and i don't have energy to sit through lectures.. i'm like nodding off during chem lect today and i mean literally nodding.. my eyes just slip out of focus.. =( there are a million and one things i wanna buy! teeshirts, new pair of shoes for school, accessories.. etc etc.. but i can't go out this weekend because i need to study my chem test.. i have to pass this or else i'll see the head of chem or dr rahman or smth of that sort.. my organic chem seriously sux.. HOW! and the block test timetable is out.. why do we have to go for gp exam on the monday of a holiday.. its stupid! and we have lessons immediately after blocktests.. why can't we rest??? thats where the school system sux..

there's bio spa tmr and i have yet to memorized the skill d stuff.. -.- heard frm my friends like it was quite difficult.. arghs.. jc life really sux.. half my post these days are about how school sux.. i don't have a life.. wait.. i do have a life.. which is just muggin life..

i always cannot get down to doing serious work.. i'm just weird.. i still havent study for my maths test and i'm so gonna be dead.. =( now i realised i havent done my maths tutorial so i'm gonna get killed by mrs neo.. great.. i took like 3hrs to finish my polymerisation tutorial. great. my life is so messed up!

ive done my blogskin already.. maybe its a way to destress..

there are 3 songs that i love now.. new songs.. 2 are these by cai chun jia and this pianist chen guan yu.. its so damn nice can! like since when did cai chun jia sound so nice.. ok la.. she's nice and all.. but these 2 songs are super nice! and the other one is 'gou gou shou' by jocie.. despite her cockroach song, this song is defintely a redemption factor.. haha! but i can't find that mp3 anywhere.. bleh.. the sunday ads are sounding that song so its okay and i can listen online frm baidu.. so its not that bad..

so much for randomy, gonna ciao to do my work!

which is better????? pls give comments k?

maybe i should upload pictures at this time of the day.. its more effective (only for a few mins -.-) i wanna update the pic i took with vera! its so nice! but wells, i hate blogger!

mia-ed for a few days because my internet connection decided to give up on me.. i don't know what's wrong with that bloody internet and it seems to like to connect and disconnect at is own pleasure.. geez.. i love and hate my internet..

so i had 3 tests on vday! how great.. i'm going to fail my bio test.. i'm certain.. i'll get an F for sure.. and chem spa was alright because it was like the norm.. and GP essay! haha.. i don't really know what i was writing and i stoned after writing my first point.. haha.. cos i didn't know what to write! seriously.. can school get more bored? i'm like dozing off in every lecture and i don't know why.. chem is tough.. and mr nah ain't making it better by imposing this remedial thingy for those who scored badly.. like me! and i was like whining to stef because i wanna go home and mr nah is so naggy! =( and i rushed home like mad..

but i still love my vday.. so many surprises.. first was my class.. they gave so many chocolates! feel so loved man.. then at night, i didn't expect him to appear in front of my door with the fake rose.. ^^ but i like the fake rose more.. lasts longer! and cute! i feel so happy walking with one hand holding the rose and the other holding his.. it was just dinner at chomp chomp and we didn't ate much and we both were damn full already.. my oyster ommelette didnt' come! sad.. but i love the stall selling the fried stuff.. its nice!! after that it was just sitting down at my house's playground and just hugging each other.. my date is just like that.. =) irritating don and kerwin is just so irritating.. they keep asking me what i'm giving, and where i'm going.. what i'm eating.. blah blah blah.. so "inquisitive" sia.. and i now know why don borrowed my pink pen.. cos he was writing someone's initials on every grain of rice!! i was so shock when i saw it! he's super crazy lah! and the rice grain is so small! he really likes that girl i guess..

i still remember how i spent my vday last year in college.. with vera! ate suki sushi and seeing all those couples around us.. feeling so blessed and happy.. had a tinge of jealousy at that time but i feel a little sad that i can't spend my vday cum friendship day with my friends.. its cool..

shall upload the pictures another day.. my blogger is always screwing up.. and so is my whole com.. how great..

some things u just have to do it yourself.. no point relying on others to help you..

some things you just have to rely on yourself.. no point asking people when they cannot even fufil it by waking up earlier..

its just so weird, how the ones u love the most can make you the most angry person on earth..

damn blogger doesnt let me upload anymore pics.. shall upload them ano day!

i just came back from dinner with my girls!! its totally cooL! with grace with us! man i miss her like crazy can! and when we all get together all the crap comes out of our mouth! i just love it when we girls gather together to make crap! ordered loads of food and tooks 156234963231mb of pictures.. lol.. all narcissism la.. and we went into cartel cos we hadn't have any place to sit to talk after dinner and sat there talking and deciding what to order.. in the end we ordered some strawberry drink which wasn't that fantastic tasting and we regretted buying that because cakes are at half priced after 9pm.. but wells, we had fun! thats the most important thing right? gonna update the pictures we took someday!

before meeting the girls i was like having lunch with him and i feel kinda odd cos i met many people i knew.. not as if the no is THAT big.. but u get the idea lah.. his friends, my friends.. bleh! i'm not going to kovan to eat anymore.. and while we were walking aimlessly rachel called him! haha.. me being very very kaypoh wanted to hear how her voice sounded like la.. sounds damn stupid but its me.. yah.. i finally got to know how she sounded like.. lol.. i don't know why i was so damn shy to like talk to her.. totally unexpected! like he just shoved the phone at me.. hmmm..

its vday next tues and its chem spa and bio test next tues.. this sux.. and he told me he has been selected for SLO interview in this year's pre-u sem.. wth.. i'm depressed alredy.. but on a brighter note, he's probably leaving small baby with me! double yay! so the depression kind of got off a lil..

i'm looking for a planner, or organiser with dates on it.. and presentable covers la.. ex bowenians would know it by the SPO.. i kinda never regretted buying it (although its compulsory to buy it) cos it really makes me organize my time.. i wanna get out of house to go shopping but i simply dun have the time.. great right?

gtg do my 'hw' alredy.. its due on tuesday and i simply have no time to waste! stef should know.. =p

i find myself falling deeper and deeper into this hole.. its like there's this force pulling me downwards.. but the funny thing is i like it.. because it shows that im falling deeper for you..

yesterday was the boy's birthday! had dinner at sushi tei and i bought him a famous amos cookie cake! damn nice.. i wouldn't even bear to eat it.. its just so personalized.. =) i forgot to take a picture of it but wells, u can just imagine right? famous amos is so nice to smell!

and he got a laptop for his birthday! but i feel that its a little too big but a laptop's better than none.. i want one too! and it has a built in camera.. now we can video conference.. ^^ and we 'hacked' into my wireless internet and watched videos! cool! basically its just rewatching some videos lah..

here are some links:
this is a screwed up version of the trailer of 'memoirs of a geisha'.. its really stupid and dumb though.. just watch it.. its funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=_AQvqsZFgDY

got this from JASSS... its freaking funny! two guys lip sync to n'sync's BYE BYE BYE.. gotta catch this!
http://www.youtube.com/?v=_dIya1aJJKA
this is my friend's project.. but it didn't get in the competition because it exceeded the time limit.. he's acting in it too! seems like they put alot of hard work in.. watch it!
http://www.youtube.com/?v=m-XJgQf8kpQ

basically just watch la.. its definitely funny and worth ur time!

randomy..

great hair day before i went to school this morning! its a wonder.. but it became crap after i went to school and wrecked brain cells and ruffling through hair while doing my chem test.. =(

sorry but i have an abhorence for chem!

my boyfriend sux.. he has nice eyelashes..

my class's notice board! cool eh? see the 'heart' part? that's where ZUL ruined it by plastering his name all over our board!

arghs i gotta get bathed and go see the chinese physician! see my pig trotters okay?

oh YES! i don't have to go PE tmr cos i sprained my ankle! i can't run! wee.. and i can accompany my kia ming now cos she doesn't do PE too! hahahaha..

been busy trying hard to study my chem test.. cos i don't wanna fail again.. rather saddening but i just wanna prove to myself that i can do it..

okay.. after talking to 2 girlfriends on the phone, i must get down to studying again! i'm so confused by those reactions! bleh...

ciao people!

today is like so "OH MY GOD"

many stuff happened so.. yah...

first, i gained like 2kg over CNY and considering that i'm already so FAT, its ALOT!

second, my bio cum CT sux to the core.. she keeps asking us to move up to the front and its so freaking irritating cos why move forward when you can't stand next to your bag! she so fucking pissed my day off..

third, i forgot to bring my bio tut and hence have to copy every single shit i copied AGAIN.. its rather long..

forth, bio teacher keeps ranting bout rules.. bet she haven't caught 'i not stupid too'..

fifth, my two guy friends PS me to eat with their friends k..

sixth, i have to hand in my bio tut tmr! complete with the essays! SHIT!

seventh, maths lect is boring and i slept during maths lect.. -.-

eighth, i slept during bio prac too.. and my class played 'murderer' while bio tchr was teaching! total knockdown!

but there's always time to rejoice right? cos there's no GP AND BIO TOMORROW!

arghs.. gonna gain more weight tomorrow.. sharon's bday! my bag's gonna weigh like a tonne or smth? and i hate to run at bedok reservoir.. the road is so sandy and rocky..

i guess i'm a bit whiney today cos today sux..